Google, you’re doin’ it wrong.

Today Google announced it’s anticipated and awaited laptop computer.  Equipped with Verizon 3G internet access, it’s being called a netbook.  This machine will not run Windows, or Apple’s OS, it will run Google’s very own software:  Chrome OS.  Or is it Chromium OS?  I have no idea – I haven’t sorted through the crap to figure that out.

From the little that I, the average consumer, can gather at this point there are a number of things wrong with Google’s entire approach on this.

First of all, the event was hardly publicized.  Only tech journalists were allowed in, there are a few pictures of the presentation floating around the internet, and there’s no real official place to go for a full recap on this.  Where do I go to learn about Google’s news?  The Official Google Blog?  (Yes, Google’s Official Blog is a ‘.blogspot’ blog.  I think they own Blogspot and all but c’mon…why not just Or maybe I should check one of Google’s 5 or 6 YouTube Channels?  There was not even a GMail note sent out to GMail users.

And while I’m complaining about the lack of press on this front, what about the Google Nexus 1, Android OS, and other Google related news?  Would it kill Google to have a centralized place from which to address the world with all this fake branding nonsense?

It’s a very clear principal, Google; consumers need to understand you.  They need to understand your products, and they need to understand your company.  What kind of company is Google?  Advertising?  Mobile Software?  Search?  Cell Phones?  And now they make computers too.

Google has no identity.

When you have a behemoth such as Google putting their business, employment and money in all these areas the perception is that none of them are really being taken seriously.  We get a sense that Google is just kind of messing around with its massive amounts of spare cash to try things out, make cool stuff, and see what happens.  I mean…Google Labs?  Cmon.  How many freaking web apps can you guys make?

Y’know Google, just because you make some cute little icon to represent a new web app, browser extension or idea you’re trying out doesn’t make you pioneers in simplicity.  We just end up with a thousand cute little icons.  And the bottom line is, the average person has no idea what most of these things are.

In regards to the Chrome Notebook, check out this video.

First of all I must say that from a design perspective, this notebook looks pretty plain and boring.  It’s certainly not a stretch to call it ugly.  And I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Essentially what Google has done is remove the desktop, and self contained storage management from the laptop.  Wow.  I’m stunned.

There are a million things I find so amazingly stupid about the above video, but I’ll only mention one.

Near the end, our friend Ryan tells us that when we’re done using the notebook we can just close the lid.  Then open it again to resume our work right where we left off.  Has Ryan been living in a cave?  Will he next teach us how to type, or use a trackpad?

Frankly, Google, you can take your Chrome Notebook back to the lab and do some work on it.  It’s a joke.  You removed anything that could be done outside the browser and called it something new.  At the end of the day anyone who has a browser installed on their laptop, already owns a Chrome Notebook.

Cloud Backup, you say?  If Google wants to back up all the data on all my hard drives and make it all work anywhere I go, that’s great.  But they don’t.  And if they do, they haven’t told me that yet.  And we’re back to square one here.

Honestly this product launch has only convinced me to not recommend Android OS to anyone until you get your act together.  Google, you’re doing it wrong.

UPDATE:  Google has posted video from yesterday’s event on YouTube.  It’s in 4 parts.  Guess we’ll see how this goes…